Archive for June, 2015

Partners who were bound together
A link you vowed to keep forever
Heart and soul just to be your lover
Naive me, I hand it all over!

Your whisper of love blinded my eyes
I bite the bullet when you shed disguise
Your heart consist of two moieties
One lent to me; One is hers originally.

Now, I know you’re a broken reed
Who solely seeks me with plain greed
But my heart is under tyrannical creed
Your mere denial will make me bleed.

Lost in thought, I sat on the lawn
Even before the break of dawn
In tears, I accept this retribution
For I laid my hands on forbidden apple.

L’Ultima Cena

Posted: June 19, 2015 in One-shot

I’m inside a small room barely illuminated by the moonlight that shine through a small crevice in the wall.
“I love you.”
His whisper is so seductive that I felt something hot spread downwards. His body pressed mine against the bed. Heat washes over my stupor. His eyes an inch far from mine. Slowly, he leans closer and planted a lingering kiss; his tongue playfully going deeper. Drunk with overwhelming sensation, I closed my eyes to savor that last supper.
A warm tear slid my face and it wasn’t mine.
Then, he’s gone.

“Dei, you should smile.” Yan said for the nth time.
“You are too serious.” Yan straightened his friend’s brow. ‘so handsome’

We are exact opposites. Yan’s the friendly, bubbly, all-smiling type while I’m the silent, adamant, overly serious type. If there is something we have in common that would be the top spot occupied by our names.

Dei walked away from the ‘announcement board’. The sounds of the students’ praises faded in background. Familiar steps hurriedly chased his back, grinning and thanking those who congratulates him.


Dei woke up with tears in his eyes. Those dreams of the good old days made his heart heavy especially today. ‘If only I noticed’ He dismissed that thought.

Dei grew up in a family of prosecutors hearing about “the real world”. But he never really saw how harsh reality could be even when he became one of the Nation’s Top Elites. The reason is
his partner both in work and in life.

Yan shouldered the darkest parts of their work. He did the ‘dirty work’ unbeknownst to me. Being exposed to hardship and discrimination because he’s an orphan, Yan still smile brightly. Then, he has to bear those responsibility we could have shared.

When did it start?

Yan smiled less often. But I refused to see and dismissed it as stress. I was too happy with fame and power we both achieved. It wasn’t until it’s too late that I realized.

Everything went sideways on their 25th anniversary. An organization has set Dei as their target. When Yan discovered; the gears were already moving. Dei took several shots and almost died. That night, Yan went home. He fell to his knees and clutched his chest. His tears flow, mixing with Dei’s blood on the floor.

“Maybe it was then, when his heart gave away. I only saw him as the happy guy who chase after me. I can’t count how many times I’ve been saved by his strength” Dei thought while fixing his tie. He is preparing himself for the trial.

“Elite? You’re just an idiot!!” As the mirror shattered, blood ooze out at Dei’s fist.

“Sir?” His secretary wakes him from reminiscing the past. He immediately fix himself up and walks to that room.

The proceedings run smoothly. With the amount of evidence and his acknowledgement of the acts, the end is predetermined.
He looks solemnly to the man who threw his future to wash my blood that was once spilt on the floor with a river of our enemies. He knew everything is to ensure that a safer and brighter future awaits me. But the man doomed himself for it.

Capital punishment! He held back himself from yanking the man away from these people. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, and tell him how he feels. ‘Did you know? I’d rather be with you than watch your end like this. I thought we’re always be on the same spot. Why did you deviate from the path we both decided to take? Stupid Yan!’

Getting a look at the person with whom he once had promise to spend his life with, his eyes speaks volume. Though tears no longer flow, his heart is torn, shredded and weary. Then he spoke the final words sealing his fate.


Posted: June 19, 2015 in short poem

though i know of your betrayal
that your promises are farcical
and my delusion is most comical
my heart awaits your arrival

so i become resolute with my goals
and i try hard to clear my thoughts
your face may resurfaced in my mind
but kept your name where it’s hard to find

i spent so many years just to forget
and some more years trying to forgive
when i almost buried the memory
i finally started to walk with dignity

it’s hard to put away your enticement
yet i let my guard down for a moment
with just your presence i knew i lost
with single smile, all come to naught

as heat rises to my head
my breath becomes rugged
thudding of my heart gets louder
i can only kneel down as i shiver

the gravity keeps me here
it is the thread that binds me
the chain not so easy to break
it pulled me down yet again

“C’est la vie”; “C’est la vie”
without him, i am nothing
because this devil is my everything
how i knew it from the very beginning!

THE END: Magnolia Dyed In Blood

Posted: June 19, 2015 in One-shot

His silver hair falls straight; tracing the contour of his pale face designed with his dark blue eyes and rosy red lips. This man was known for his pretty face devoid of emotion with expression that is perpetually cold. He walks unsteadily and halted when he reached the cliff; he then kneeled. He coughed up blood dyeing the pink petals of magnolia in his left hand.

…Ten years…

“I’m home.” His whisper was carried by the wind. Then slowly, his eyes closed.


“Zero.” A golden-haired man called. He has brilliant smile and gentle demeanor.

I offended some people and almost lost my life. Xenon saved me. “Blood for Blood” I never believe in kindness that’s why i swore to repay this debt. But the man was patient and persistent. He’s like the sun. He melted my defenses. His smile sends warmth to my heart until he wormed his way in.

Love was something foreign to me until i met “him”. Deep in my heart, I’m scared. He’s far too precious; so dear. I used to have nothing but now, he became my everything. It was exhilarating yet truly terrifying.

“You’re here in the cliff again. You sure take good care of them. You even come here to visit everyday. I’m jealous.” He said smiling.
“But these are your favorite flowers. You said it was your mother who took care of them personally.”
“That was a long time ago. You still remembered.”
“I never forgot your words.”
“Then why don’t you give me your answer?”
“X-Xenon” He hugged me from behind. His breath sends shiver to my spine.
“I can’t wait for you forever. I don’t have much time.” He whispered. He smiled bitterly and left.

I never attempted to touch him; afraid to taint him. He’s far too good for me. That’s why i pretended not to understand. But those last words made me uneasy.

A month later, Xenon collapsed. The healer said it was only exhaustion but as days passed, his body gradually weakens.

“Xen, that healer is worthless. I’ll bring you another.” I was extremely worried. He is always the energetic one; always full of life. Just looking at him makes you feel like living is too simple. Not this skinny, pale man. Even the luster of his golden hair is gone.

“Zero, you remember the cliff where i saved you? You haven’t been there these days, right? Bring me there.”

I intended to refuse but the look in his eyes made me waver. In the end i carried him to that place.

“I love you, you know?” He smiled weakly. He told me he was sick. He was born with defective heart.
“Am I really untrustworthy? OR do you believe I’ll change upon knowing?”
“I hate to be pitied!! ESPECIALLY YOU!!”
“You ordered me look solely at you. But I can’t even share your pain?” *breathes* “We should head back. It started raining.” I gritted my teeth. I felt betrayed.
“Zero, I’ve been doing what i wanted and even met you. I’m grateful. If i have time, I’ll make you mine.” *I’m selfish. Knowing you’ll suffer when I’m gone, makes me happy.*

I thought of confessing but hesitated.

“X-xen…h-hey?.y-y-you!!!” My body trembles. His eyes were closed.

“Pl-please.! a-i only have you.” I choked and closed my eyes; tears streaming. The wind howls furiously. I remember the childish pranks, the youthful laughter. It pricks my heart knowing those smiles were now memories.

..My sun..

Without you, the world seems dark. My lips trembled.

I kissed his eyes; nose; lastly, his lips. I hugged him close.