Posted: June 19, 2015 in short poem

though i know of your betrayal
that your promises are farcical
and my delusion is most comical
my heart awaits your arrival

so i become resolute with my goals
and i try hard to clear my thoughts
your face may resurfaced in my mind
but kept your name where it’s hard to find

i spent so many years just to forget
and some more years trying to forgive
when i almost buried the memory
i finally started to walk with dignity

it’s hard to put away your enticement
yet i let my guard down for a moment
with just your presence i knew i lost
with single smile, all come to naught

as heat rises to my head
my breath becomes rugged
thudding of my heart gets louder
i can only kneel down as i shiver

the gravity keeps me here
it is the thread that binds me
the chain not so easy to break
it pulled me down yet again

“C’est la vie”; “C’est la vie”
without him, i am nothing
because this devil is my everything
how i knew it from the very beginning!

THE END: Magnolia Dyed In Blood

Posted: June 19, 2015 in One-shot

His silver hair falls straight; tracing the contour of his pale face designed with his dark blue eyes and rosy red lips. This man was known for his pretty face devoid of emotion with expression that is perpetually cold. He walks unsteadily and halted when he reached the cliff; he then kneeled. He coughed up blood dyeing the pink petals of magnolia in his left hand.

…Ten years…

“I’m home.” His whisper was carried by the wind. Then slowly, his eyes closed.


“Zero.” A golden-haired man called. He has brilliant smile and gentle demeanor.

I offended some people and almost lost my life. Xenon saved me. “Blood for Blood” I never believe in kindness that’s why i swore to repay this debt. But the man was patient and persistent. He’s like the sun. He melted my defenses. His smile sends warmth to my heart until he wormed his way in.

Love was something foreign to me until i met “him”. Deep in my heart, I’m scared. He’s far too precious; so dear. I used to have nothing but now, he became my everything. It was exhilarating yet truly terrifying.

“You’re here in the cliff again. You sure take good care of them. You even come here to visit everyday. I’m jealous.” He said smiling.
“But these are your favorite flowers. You said it was your mother who took care of them personally.”
“That was a long time ago. You still remembered.”
“I never forgot your words.”
“Then why don’t you give me your answer?”
“X-Xenon” He hugged me from behind. His breath sends shiver to my spine.
“I can’t wait for you forever. I don’t have much time.” He whispered. He smiled bitterly and left.

I never attempted to touch him; afraid to taint him. He’s far too good for me. That’s why i pretended not to understand. But those last words made me uneasy.

A month later, Xenon collapsed. The healer said it was only exhaustion but as days passed, his body gradually weakens.

“Xen, that healer is worthless. I’ll bring you another.” I was extremely worried. He is always the energetic one; always full of life. Just looking at him makes you feel like living is too simple. Not this skinny, pale man. Even the luster of his golden hair is gone.

“Zero, you remember the cliff where i saved you? You haven’t been there these days, right? Bring me there.”

I intended to refuse but the look in his eyes made me waver. In the end i carried him to that place.

“I love you, you know?” He smiled weakly. He told me he was sick. He was born with defective heart.
“Am I really untrustworthy? OR do you believe I’ll change upon knowing?”
“I hate to be pitied!! ESPECIALLY YOU!!”
“You ordered me look solely at you. But I can’t even share your pain?” *breathes* “We should head back. It started raining.” I gritted my teeth. I felt betrayed.
“Zero, I’ve been doing what i wanted and even met you. I’m grateful. If i have time, I’ll make you mine.” *I’m selfish. Knowing you’ll suffer when I’m gone, makes me happy.*

I thought of confessing but hesitated.

“X-xen…h-hey?.y-y-you!!!” My body trembles. His eyes were closed.

“Pl-please.! a-i only have you.” I choked and closed my eyes; tears streaming. The wind howls furiously. I remember the childish pranks, the youthful laughter. It pricks my heart knowing those smiles were now memories.

..My sun..

Without you, the world seems dark. My lips trembled.

I kissed his eyes; nose; lastly, his lips. I hugged him close.

B in W: On Our Own

Posted: June 19, 2015 in short poem

Looking at the mirror
My other half reflects
Forcing down my feelings
That tend to overflows

For my hands are stained with
blood of countless foes
I dare not ask forgivess
Salvation had long past mine

Feared to taint you with a touch
And rub you with my sin
It’s fine it’s just me
While you stay safe and clean

But you open that door
touch the darkness within
I can only surrender
with your begging whisper

You pulled me down close to you
Your heart beats against mine
With single breath, our hands entwine
the chains that bind me broke with a sigh.

Maybe it’s true that it’s you
Who drag me down this hole
But you don’t know, do you?
I dreamt of this so long ago

In this once dim room
Is a fantasy-like reality
A place for none but “US”
An open door in wonderland

oh, Our Very Own Idyllic Realm..


Posted: June 19, 2015 in One-shot
Tags: ,
At dawn, a blood-stained man stand alone in a dark room. He sheathed his long sword and left the place, now littered with bodies soaked in a pool of blood.

That same man is now standing inside a front yard, looking intently at certain man. The latter looks graceful in his yukata and currently exchanging pleasantries with a number of women who happen (?) to pass by. This is an everyday occurrence since the mentioned man is well-known for his exceptional beauty, grace and intellect. Everyone knew that their pure and gentle prince is actually the heir of one of the most powerful and influential family. Who wouldn’t desire him?

While seeing this unfold, the man frowned. He felt a tug in his heart watching the other man smile on those women. His hand reach for his chest and clutch it hard. He closed his eyes but he can still see that image. [tall, fair-skinned, waist-long, silvery-white hair and blood-red eyes with gentle smile]

“It’s not like I can forget”

He opened his eyes and notice his hands, then his clothes. He’s wearing black but if you stare long enough, fresh blood streaks can be seen. He just finished his duty. He’s one of the best CLEANERS. They are a special group tasked with tracking and hunting down traitors and pests that dare go against the family. Their existence is an open secret. A living that does not live. A nameless shadow. He just turned 16 but he can’t even remember the exact number of people he cut down. While pondering, he wasn’t aware of pair of eyes that notice him.

He felt disgusted with himself. Though he never thought of death even once.
‘I chose this fate. This burden is mine to carry. I must suffer alone.’

With one last glance, he retreated back to his place. when he reached a dim room, he proceeded to the bath. He took off his clothes and trash it. The water is cold but he didn’t care. He scrub his body clean again and again. After drying himself, he stared at the mirror.

There is the reflection of the man from the front yard. Same face. But blank and unnerved. Same red eyes. But much colder and cruel.

[“It’s mine. No one will know.” He grab the black sword then the ritual was held.]


I noticed Him returned. it took some time but I shook off the ladies. I entered His room. Unlike my spacious and decorated room, this room is very small, has only a table, chair and bed in it.”What are you doing here, Young Master?” wet hair and usual cold stare

“Yesterday was Our Coming-of-Age Cer..”

“You shouldn’t be here. It is unclean, tainted.” (turning his back on me)
Instead i walk over and reach out.

“Don’t touch me!!.”

“Why? We’re twins.!! You’re originally MINE!!.” With raised voice, I push him to sit on the bed. Then i kneel.

“Do you…h….hate me? Does it..p-pain you.. to look.. at Because of Is that why? I’m not even worthy to t-touch you? You wont even call MY name.” (tears falling)

Actually, he knew. He’s supposed to carry the Black Sword while his elder twin inherit as the heir. But to protect me and my future..

His twin hesitated to touch him so i grab his hand and hug him tight.

“Shiro” He gently whisper in sweet surrender.
“I’m stained. I caught tra..”

“You caught your white rabbit.”
I shut him up with deep kiss. Then, slip my tongue longingly.